


Head or heart

by Yogaduck



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Confusion, F/M, Heartache, Misunderstandings, Pining, Sense of Duty, but also love of a certain blue eyed knight, father feelingsss, post season 08 ep 03
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-15 18:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18675097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yogaduck/pseuds/Yogaduck
Summary: Jaime is overcome by a sense of guilt towards his unborn child. Haunted by dreams of Myrcella he feels he has to return to Cercei for the child's sake if nothing else. He knows she doesn't love him but she needs him. But then he thinks of a pair of astonishing blue eyes and things get complicated...





	Head or heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends! First J/B fic and it has been a while since I last wrote a fic so please be gentle with me. If these two don't become canon next episode I will surely cry. Not really sure where this little fic is going but we shall see. Let me know what you think! B xx

He dreamt of his unborn child. Helpless. He dreamt of her and how she needed him now more than ever. But every time he thought about going back his mind was filled with Brienne. Her astonishing eyes. What would she think? No, he couldn’t think of her. He knew Brienne didn't love him like he loved her. She was a knight; her life was dedicated to serving Sansa. There could be no future between them. Cersei didn't love him either but she was family and she needed him. His child needed him. All his other children were 6 feet under. Myrcella. Her face flashed before his eyes and he clenched his hand into a fist. He should return to Cersei, to his child.

But those astonishing eyes haunted his dreams. 

He couldn't think about that now he just had to get out of Winterfell before he changed his mind. He had to leave quickly. If he thought about Brienne... Gods if he saw Brienne he would change his mind. He had to leave, now. 

\--------

Tyrion rounded the corner to his brothers chambers with a spring in his step and a smile on his face. He still couldn't believe he was alive or that Jaime was alive, the one handed fool.

As he approached his brothers room he heard shuffling. He pushed the already ajar door further open to see his brother hurriedly stuffing clothes into a sack. 

His heart dropped into his stomach. 

\--------

Without any knowledge of what she was to find, Brienne was also heading to Jaime's chambers. He had fought so bravely and she felt the urge to thank him for saving her during the battle. She also hadn't yet found time to thank him properly for knighting her, thinking back to that moment brought a smile to her face. Remembering his expression of reverence and respect, those eyes staring down at her as he said the words.

She heard shouting as she walked down the corridor towards his room. His voice and... Tyrion's she thought. Perhaps this wasn't the best time...

As she approached his doorway she took in the scene before her. Jaime standing over his bed with a half stuffed sack of clothes. His brother red in the face from shouting and Jaime hurriedly putting on his furs. She knew exactly what was going on. He was leaving. He was going back to her. The battle of the dead was over and he was going to slink back to King’s Landing. Was he even planning on telling her? The way things looked he had packed in a hurry, he was going to vanish and leave her wondering what it was she did wrong. He wasn’t even going to say goodbye to her. That hurt the most, she meant so little to him that he wouldn’t even bother bidding her farewell.

He was going back to her. Her thoughts taunted her; foolish woman that you are to have ever thought he would stay. He came to fight the dead, not for you. 

It felt like someone had shoved a spear directly through her heart. The pain was excruciating. She stood there gaping at him when he looked up and noticed her standing there. 

His eyes. His stupid beautiful eyes. That's what tipped her over the edge. She felt her chin tremble, she pressed her lips together as her eyes filled with tears. 

He was going back to her. Just when she thought he had finally seen sense. Seen her for who she truly was.  
She balled her hands into fists when she saw his expression change from surprise, to shock, to concern when her eyes filled with tears. 

"Brienne..." he started but she didn't let him finish, she had to get out. She needed air, she couldn't let him see her fall apart. 

She briskly turned on her heel and stormed down the hallway making a beeline for the nearest balcony. 

"Brienne wait!" She heard him shout after her. "Brienne!" His voice sounded strangled. 

When she reached the outside she went to the balcony's edge leaning heavily on the stone wall, her face in her hands.


End file.
